Just having a look round to see who I know

Just nipping out for some bits and bobs. Why is DIY never finished?

Has read the sundays from cover to cover... Time to see if I can get the petrol mower fired up for the first time this year.

Just had a good long soak. Wrinkles isn’t the word.

Got to get me one of these. Knocks years off me!

Anyone who tells you that smooth peanut butter is superior to crunchy needs help. Why would someone even say that? #madness

Loving a bit of Benidorm... a series that would be improved with a comedy role for a certain actor #nobodyinparticular

Sad to hear about Dale Winton. Went to a party at his house once... one of his entourage accused me of crapping in his hot tub! Never went back.

This warm weather is fantastic! Time to start sleeping in just my birthday suit again!

A future storyline for OF&H... Del invests heavily in bitcoin. It’s a swizz - the robbing bastards.

If you sprinkle when you tinkle... please be neat and wipe the seat. It’s hardly rocket science.

Feeling the love for ‘Team Rodders’ 👍🏻😊 x.com/thisissunrise/…

Spoke to my agent today. A voiceover for a Teletubbies reboot?! I was Rodney Trotter FFS!

Watched the programme #FatbergAutopsy last night. Tough call about the wet wipes but I’d rather do my bit for the environment than have a lemon fresh nipsy every time

Stood next to Paul McCartney at a urinal last night in a posh restaurant. Such a massive fan - had an overwhelming urge to compliment him on the size of his penis... it was suppressed to avoid awkwardness.