Hayfever is on steroids the past few days 😵‍💫

All I want is to be olive skinned

Hershey’s?! I’d rather have no chocolate

The temptation to go back brunette is real 😀

All the attractive Instagram people have been forced on to Twitter where I, an ugly little goblin man, rule with an iron fist x

Frickin Jürgen has my heart

Think it’s time they brought out some more Black Mirror eps

There is nothing cuter than spaniel puppies

Salt can’t be the only delicious rock. I’m going to eat rocks to find the good ones. I bet they’re trying to keep them from us

2019 was the good old days

The Down Under by Men at Work remix is an abomination

………….

if ghosts are real they must be very bored because why are u rocking that chair rn??? go to an island and drink a lil ghost martini don’t bother me???

my therapist: and what do we say when we’ve made bad choices? me: what am i like x therapist: no

Coming out a 6 month tweet hiatus to say I have the bessssstest friends 🥰

Erm was anyone watching The Chase cause I just about cried with happiness for Dan 🤣

If I could choose to look like someone it would be Vick Hope

The spiders in my house watching me put up spider decorations after killing their brother