I will be speaking at the Berkeley City Club on December 7. Critics are already raving, hailing the event as “scheduled” and “on a Wednesday.” Get tickets here: eventbrite.com/e/how-to-watch…

Good stuff on every page. This book is fun.

Not the first HOME ALONE 2 actor to be charged with a crime, however. (Macaulay Culkin, for marijuana possession, in 2004.)

At this very moment, dozens of 'Minority Report'-style robo-spiders are trampling over the Mar-a-Lago dessert buffet, looking for their perp.

FYI, I may be a Grade-A lamewad and certifiable chowderhead but I’d never sink so low as to pay for Twitter. That’d be embarrassing!

Why are TV writers even trying to negotiate for a new contract? Anyone can do their job, look: A show where Spiderman um is in the, uh, NFL with, uhhhh Jason Statham and like some SNL guys are there and every week they do the cowbell thing with Minions (real, no CGI).

Bolsonaro will fight this the only way he knows how: by contracting the novel SARS-CoV-2, also known as COVID-19.

DeSantis [trembling, prone beneath the spectral horror of The Lawnmower Man]: "That's right, Elon, Tostitos have gone woke."

Thinking about all the amazing real-world uses for the Apple goggles: —Surgeon pulling up a patient’s scans while playing Leisure Suit Larry —Airplane pilots doing a pre-flight check without looking away from Leisure Suit Larry —Prima ballerina gettin' her Leisure Suit Larry on

Managed to beat "For sale: baby shoes, never worn" with a word to spare.

Thankfully Disney still has $450 million to kick off its “Infinity Sheath” series with CAPTAIN GALAXY: THE QUANTUM SHADE. The movie will make eleven dollars and everyone associated with it will be subjected to death threats for the rest of their careers. x.com/farhip/status/…

Need an audiobook for days in the sun? Save 50% on "How to Watch Basketball Like a Genius: What Game Designers, Economists, Ballet Choreographers, and Theoretical Astrophysicists Reveal About the Greatest Game on Earth" by Nick Greene. Offer expires 07/28. audiobooks.com/promotions/pro…

timburkelegalfund.org

Pee pee is the future of poo poo – centered in fart – creating a global marketplace for doo doo. Powered by AI, pee pee will poo poo in ways we’re just beginning to doody. x.com/lindayacc/stat…

They're like Animorphs but they're turning into golf bags.

For The Washington Post, I reviewed Arnold Schwarzenegger's new self-help book. washingtonpost.com/books/2023/10/…

The Apprentice guy???

“The store’s not standing but we are, as booksellers.” Brad Johnson and all the other great people at East Bay Booksellers need our help. gofund.me/556bed47

'HOW TO WATCH SOCCER LIKE A GENIUS' comes out May 12. Here are some nice things people have said about it already. (I worked very hard making this image.)