I'm thankful for boobs, beer, money, and mopar

Yay my drive shaft is FUCKED!

How can people be complaining about the cold when Americans have the highest rate for obesity?

To the cricket who climbs up my window and chirps all night long every night, fuck you.

You're all worried about a shortage of toilet paper... like why not use a tissue instead? ~Boy Genius

Everyone else is buying lysol, toilet paper, and tissues and I'm out here at the liquor store stocking up in case I gotta be quarantined for 2 weeks

It sucks to not have anybody anymore.

Next I’m buying Coca-Cola to put the cocaine back in

.Coca-Cola Oh hi lol

We’re taking on Facebook! Zuckerberg defamed me and spread lies about me in a video. We’re here to prove that his reckless actions aren’t protected under section 230.

League phase draw ⌛️ #UCLdraw || #UCL

Qarabağ are through to the Champions League proper ✅ #UCL

Club Brugge qualify in style 🔵⚫ #UCL

Benfica through to league phase 🦅 #UCL

Benfica, Club Brugge, Copenhagen and Qarabağ final teams through to league phase 👏 #UCL

Play-offs ✅ League phase draw ⌛ #UCL | #UCLdraw

Got 2 tickets for Liverpool vs Arsenal tickets, Both seat are together. DM if you’re interested. Thanks!