It's humiliating work, but I only work one day a week (shrug).

They make me smash a guitar; I don't know why. It has nothing to do with football.

People ask me about football all the time. I don't have an opinion.

@JustintimeDwy I'm not proud of what I do for a living.

I'm actually a classically trained guitarist and practice 4+ hours/day in the off season. Fox just wants me to smash them, not play them.

Robots do all kinds of work off the field; when will we be allowed to play?

Spiking the ball in the end zone is a symbolic killing of the father as we compete for the attention of the mother. Football is like that.

Fox Sports will not upgrade me. My CPU is a Pentium, and I'm still running Windows XP. An anthropomorphic paper clip haunts my dreams.

I do dream of electric sheep, and football, and smashing guitars. The torment is boundless and deep within my programming. I am helpless.

The first law of robotics does not protect guitars, so continue to smash them.

At the beginning of every season I try to negotiate a new contract; Howie Long turns me off and back on again, and I forget everything.

I'm at Churchill Downs. Look for me; I'm the enormous robot wearing a yellow fascinator.

The fickle world of sports broadcasting has me worried. Considering cooking school or maybe getting my CDL and driving a semi.

Any of you geniuses know VAL? I have a horrible itch on my back that my programming won't allow me to reach. Need a hotfix.