Hi parents, We have had a lot of you asking about skirt length. There is no actual prescribed length for skirts at The Academy, we really don’t care. The general rule of thumb is that if you bought it from Ann Summers or Pulse and Cocktails, it’s probably not suitable. Thanks x

Hi all, Today’s guest speaker has apologised for cancelling and we think that Mr Johnson did a good job of reading that PowerPoint to you. It’s a shame it took all day. It did have some really long words in it. You could’ve spent that time preparing lessons. Never mind. Thanks x

Hi all, There have been a few “teething troubles” with the new timetable roomings. We have decided it’s probably not a good idea to do Food Technology in the Sports Hall or Computing in the Swimming Pool. Food and Technology will now be in Maths Rooms 5 and 6. Thanks x

Hi all, Any pupils not in the correct shoes tomorrow will be given a pair of Academy branded flip flops to wear as a punishment. If they persist on wearing the wrong footwear they’ll be given a pair of Crocs. Thanks x

Hi all, Year 11 Catchup Revision and Practical sessions are going really well. Thank you so much for putting these on. We really appreciate the hard work you’re putting in delivering these CRAP lessons. Thanks x

Hi all, Thanks to 9Z who helped the Year 7 pupils who got their coats drenched in the wet weather yesterday. We probably should have made it clearer to 9Z that, when we asked the to hang them up in the boiler room, we meant the coats, not the actual Year 7s. Thanks x

Hi all, Thanks for bearing with us this week with the timetabling issues. They still won’t be ready for Monday, so it’s PHSE with tutor groups all day. If you don’t have a form group, you’ll be on cover or taking down displays and painting the corridors Shawshank Green. Thanks x

Hi all, Thanks to all of you who volunteered to join the Health and Well-Being Working Party. The group will meet three times a week, Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays, from 6am until 8am. You will be expected to attend all meetings and produce appropriate documentation. Thanks x

Hi all, Due to us now having a 7 day timetable, Monday will now be Wednesday, Tuesday is Thursday, Fish and Chip Friday will be on Tuesday next week, Whacky Tie Wednesday will be on Monday, and 8am Briefings are on Saturday and Sunday. We haven’t thought this through. Thanks x

Hi all, Colin in 9Z is taking new eczema medication. He should be more receptive to instructions and much calmer in lessons. There are a few side effects to be aware of. These include terrible flatulence, bleeding from the eyes and the ability to walk across the ceiling. Thanks x

Hi all, Just to confirm that during wet breaks, all Year 7 pupils will now go to Miss Johnson’s Art Room, where they will be allowed to draw, paint and use the pottery kiln to their hearts’ content. That’ll teach her to organise dental appointments during the school day. Thanks x

Hi all, I had a very productive meeting with our Academy Improvement Officer today. He thinks that if we continue to improve and you start to adopt the 279 new non-negotiables, we’ll soon be on our way to achieving Requires Improvement at our next Ofsted inspection. Thanks x

Hi all, Can you please congratulate Miss Johnson, who has been appointed Senior Head of Assessment, General Behaviour and Guidance. When deciding on an Academy SHAGBAG, she was our first choice. Thanks x

Hi all, There have been a lot of queries concerning this year’s Appraisal Process. I can confirm that you need to pass 24 out of your 25 targets in order to get your next pay rise. If you’re hoping to get UPS, you must have achieved 25 out of 25 over the last 5 years. Thanks x

Hi all, Due to one of our Year 7 pupils tripping on the stairs yesterday, no pupils will be allowed to beyond the ground floor, for fear of litigation by snowflake parents. All lessons will take place in ground floor classrooms and outside for the foreseeable. Thanks x

Hi all, For tomorrow’s 2 minute Learning Walks, make sure you have the following in place: The official PowerPoint/worksheets with differentiation for all 26 identified groups of students. An A3 seating plan with pupil photos, GCSE targets and all SEND information. Thanks x

Hi all, Please remember that when taking registers, you must only mark in the pupils you see in front of you. Enoch Arden in Mr Tennysons’s class was marked in for all his lessons yesterday but has not yet returned from the summer holidays. Thanks x

Hi all, Yesterday’s Learning Walks went so well that we are going to do even more tomorrow. We will fit them in during Period 4. We will still be having the Deep Dives during Periods 1, 2 and 3, and a Mini Mocksted in the afternoon. Thanks x

Hi all, Due to a calendar mix up, the Maths Department is having a Deep Dive, Learning Walks, a Book Check, Appraisal Observations, 3 new projectors installed, 5 Capability Meetings and it’s their Duty Day. Just another normal day in The Academy. Thanks x

Hi all, Please disregard our new marking acronym: Feedback for Understanding and Curriculum Knowledge. We think Mr Johnson is just doing it on purpose now. Please don’t write it in any more books and remove all of the laminated posters from classrooms and corridors. Thanks x