On this 87th day of January, I pledge unto you this: once I'm finally in charge of absolutely everything, the lengths of January and February will be switched around.

Anyone forget this little one on the Borders Railway this afternoon? Now being looked after by the nice people of ScotRail

The replies 🎯

I’ve not been keeping track but SNBTS-Scottish National Blood Transfusion Service have apparently; donation number💯 this evening #GiveBlood

Hi Edinburgh Council Help — I know it’s been hard to tell in between all the rain but there has been a leak for a good several weeks now at the east side of Charlotte Square.

Them: You can’t smell a photo Me:

Rewatching “Yes, Prime Minister”. Totally blown away at how applicable pretty much everything is to the current day. Has there ever been / ever will be a show like it?

That photo of Rishi with the Italian PM is prime meme fodder. Don’t disappoint me now internet!

Hi Lothian Buses could you please clarify the status of the temporary bus stop eastbound on Ferry Road? Just had a driver very reluctant to stop and pick us up, insistent that the stop shouldn’t be there as it crossed a cycle lane and also meant the ramp was unable to be used?

Be very careful with random public QR codes; they may be malicious and download nasty stuff.

What’re the odds on this Raygun Olympic nonsense being a Fringe show next year?

I either need new hips or a new bowling technique

Good morning Morrisons — wondering why I can no longer buy loose ginger? Have you given up any pretence of environmental responsibility and reducing packaging?

While prepping to interview Boris Johnson tomorrow,  by mistake I sent our briefing notes to him in a message meant for my team. That obviously means it’s not right for the interview to go ahead. It’s very frustrating, and there’s no point pretending it’s anything other than

Had to quadruple check that this wasn’t a parody account.

What kind of phrasing is this BBC Scotland News — the children “collided with” a car? bbc.co.uk/news/articles/…