from game night with bestie Mëg and powerhouse-author-slash-funniest-bitch-in-the-world 开云体育百家乐鱼天博彩票AG真人PG电子捕鱼电竞亚博万博鱼虾蟹足彩彩票IM电竞 ( grab her new 📖 re-release of IN THRALL from Semiotext(e) )

real men marry landlords

didn’t take advantage of a single free birthday thing from anywhere. just aging for free pls do better than me.

i think ppl think lesbians just sit around and talk about our pelvic floors and tbh we do

i would be so embarrassed if u could see my dog’s butthole all the time idk how y’all manage that humiliation

having a new crush is going to keep me alive and then it will kill me

the girl who spread around that i was a lesbo and stopped inviting me to her big sleepovers in 6th grade is now a shredded body builder lol perhaps the call was always coming from inside the house

we need to stop judging deer - if you could throw yourself in front of a moving car with zero consequences, wouldn’t you?

instead of kids try a sourdough starter or orchids or compost lifestyle and see if u both can handle it

what even is a bonbon I refuse to learn what that is. there are no heterosexual chocolatiers.

girl we’ve been hating katy perry since she killed that nun in court. rip sis.

💀

no quora i don't know what the lines on towels are actually for pls tell me i need to know

oh nooooo the restaurant with illiterate cows doesn’t like me that’s terrible

it gives me massive anxiety to think about all of the ppl who are wrong about their zodiac

If you’re craving bacon cheese burger - just eat Raisin Bran and use your imagination…. A week of play pretend is honestly the key to everything

when i saw the queer ultimatum s2 cast i remembered that lesbophobia is very real and it works in casting departments

jobs in america be like good afternoon team who wants to work labor day

do not fall in love with your situationship unless you are a certified masochist

writing dumbass shit on my calendar just for the satisfaction of aggressively crossing it off