6 tropicalia’s deep at my family reunion explaining to my 8 year old cousin how to tunnel his fastball and slider #lank

Why the fuck is Daniel Jackson not playing everyday, he has 9 home runs in almost half the at bats as everyday guys and his defense is not even that bad

If I scored one point higher on my special needs testing they’d let me bring my dog to class

You can tell a lot about a man based on whether they’d rather have a 90-91 lefty with a 4 pitch mix and pin point command or a 94-96 righty with a wipeout slider on their team

Letting Pakistanis and Indians have nukes may have been the biggest fucking mistake in human history

Craziest part about WW3 is that the soldiers are probably gonna post a photo dump on instagram after it

Imagine Jeff Hardy walks out

I think an American pope calls for an updated Popemobile #PopeLeoXIV

How mfs feel when you get added to a regular group chat and they say “intro vid”

I’d rather be homeless than be semi famous and post everything I do in my day on my Snapchat story for a living

Hate what happened in DC but Dave Portnoy going from this straight into his WNBA parlay is fucking hilarious

how do I join I want to pit maneuver a minority

Shaming other men for the brand and price of their clothing is a top 5 gayest thing of all time. All of you should be put down immediately.

If I was on the bachelor, we’d watch movies and play guitar hero for 8 weeks straight and I’d pick the one with the biggest rack. Simple as that.

I swear it’s always guys in a fraternity you’ve never heard of from some D3 school in bumfuck nowhere that will be talking about their pledgeship and will just drop some of the most outrageously foul things you’ve ever heard

Long drive today, what’s the best song of all time

Why has there not been a Jesco White movie played by Billy Bob Thornton yet