If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that deciding not to fold your laundry the day it’s done is one small decision that leads to a lot more bad decisions, and before you know it, your life is a complete wreck.

do they even hire dalmatians to work at firehouses anymore or what

i cant stop thinking about “it’s all corrupt girl” like it seriously is

As my 6 y.o. says... it’s as easy as taking candy AND a baby

my dad put a beer in my lunch on april fools day in 4th grade

The Death of Bara, by Jean-Joseph Weerts, 1883

I would’ve given airbud CTE before I let him score on me

che disculpame que no te contesté estaba con el google maps siguiendo un río enorme hasta su desembocadura

I hope nobody see me eating by myself and feel sorry for me I’m having the time of my life

Drink Sprite from the bottle cap of the Sprite bottle

Yesterday the cashier said I was going to put him out of a job for how efficiently I bagged my own groceries.. Raul has no idea what he did.. I cannot believe it

Happy Tax Day! May we all fund learing centers across the country with our hard earned tax dollars 🙏🏼

accidentally slept with mascara on and unfortunately it is the secret to waking up beautiful

Kindergarten field trip today. Increase their pay. Add hazard pay. Can we just Venmo the teachers?

don’t really feel like washing my face tonight, so i’m going to pretend to fall asleep on the couch. the body protects you from acne when it thinks you didn’t do it on purpose.

I used to ask my mom if I could scan our groceries at the self-checkout and I’d go super fast thinking they would see my talent and offer me a job.

Kids parties are wild!! Little girl lost TWO teeth during the piñata and hardly anyone noticed..