|| Coming back to Twitter and having so many people greet me, remember me, and say they’re glad I’m back means a lot. Thank you guys ❤️

|| my bestie

How much to shut me up?

——— ✄

You think I’m a cheap guy, eh? [ Is he looking at that coupon, hell yes he is. Taco Bell is Taco Bell. ]

If you don’t come to work with half a pound of c*ke in your system — is it really going to work?

|| Struggles not to make an outlast trials account

|| Please follow the nastiest most stinky character I’ve ever written

—Did I? Well, when you steal a man’s fruit cup…ya know…. Perfect! I knew I could count on you to bring some holiday cheer…right up the nose.

⠀ ⠀ “So tired. Doubting my judgement.” — 𝐏 𝐀 𝐓 𝐇 𝐎 𝐋 𝐎 𝐆 𝐈 𝐒 𝐓 . ⠀ 𝒋𝒆𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒇𝒆𝒓 𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒅 of outlast. mature & triggering content. dead dove: do not eat. (n)sfw. 18+ only. minors: do not interact. ⠀

That’ll really clear my sinuses, ammirite?

You are the product! You are the product! You are the product!

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ If you 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘳𝘴 still believe in Santa Claus, I still believe in paying 𝙩𝙖𝙭𝙚𝙨. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀