x.com/i/lists/174633…

“I won’t deny that… What about Mandy? Can you get her to be my girlfriend?”

“It’s not fair! I’m sure she lets Ted take pictures of her. Throwing a ball isn’t that impressive. I don’t get it.”

“That’s different! Ewwww.”

|| Gary spitting

“No! I didn’t say that.”

“No girl will. Just look at how they all throw themselves at Ted. The guy’s an idiot. And still, he gets all the girls. They don’t care about intelligence. Not at all.”

“You saw his campaign posters. Two girls around him. He knows what he’s doing. Rubbing it in my face.” For someone so intelligent, sometimes Earnest didn’t make sense. “So if you can’t get me Mandy, who can you get?”

“Girls really do have it rough. The fact that Ernest is around would make anyone want to give up.”

That’s better. Not that he would do anything about it. Confrontation wasn’t really his thing. It never ended well.

“Right, the girl has to like me. So you have to find a girl that likes me. Then I’ll have a girlfriend.”

“But I will be putting in some work. For your plan, remember? The deal was you get me a girlfriend and I help you. Don’t you think I’d have a girlfriend by now if me putting in work actually worked?”

“So what do I have to do? Should I be taking notes right now?”

“Then I can’t offer my help.”

He gulped nervously and looked away from Gary. “Yes, I understand.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t say anything.” He was too distracted with the hope of getting a girlfriend to realize Gary was manipulating him again.

Perhaps if Earnest was thinking logically, he’d realize what Gary was saying about Jimmy could directly be applied to Gary. “How long do you think it’ll take for me to get a girlfriend?”

“I’ve been patient. Spent my whole life waiting for this.”

“I guess not. But it might come close.”

“Does that mean you were planning on killing me?”