If Twitter crashes and you need to find me, the hell you will. I've got a two day head start on you, which is more than I need. I speak a dozen languages, know every local custom, I'll blend in, disappear, you'll never see me again.

Twitter was trash anyway. Can I have Twitter if you decide to throw it away?

Wanna do all the things all the time

i’m in a code review with elon musk. ive got the CSS for neopets.com on 3 monitors. my browser’s in dark mode so it looks cool. “this part?” he asks, pointing to code for the Giant Omelette. “caches tweets in the mainframe cyberhex,” i say. he nods. “as i suspected”

"You can't break up with me, I'm breaking up with you!" Oh, ok. Thanks for the unemployment benefits, Musky nuts.

Many are saying this is true.

It's going to be below freezing tonight. Make sure you pass the word to our neighbors who are outside.

Good God, can this site collapse faster?

Honey! Get on over to Twitter! This idiot doesn't understand statistical fallacies and is checking with a poll to see who wants The Orange Menace to be unbanned on the platform.

Went to the dentist today & my jaw hurts so bad because they worked on a cavity on my lower left side & they did the injections where my TMJ acts up. Super sore right now to the point where I don't want to brush my teeth...but I GOTTA cuz that's how I got here in the first place.

Sigh 💸💸💸

Whelp. Fuck this place.

Bulllllllshit. The Ted Lasso approach is better.

Add some candy beans and it's a Skip's Scramble! cc: Arrested Development

Mastodon has just passed over 2 million active monthly users, a new record! People are voting with their feet. The future of social media doesn't have to belong to a billionaire, it can be in the hands of its users.