What Democrats need to admit right now is: If they hadn't tried so hard to shield Joe Biden from criticism, we could have had an actual primary and this guy would be President right now. That's why we're here.

I mean.....they still won. So...

Note to the young ppl out there in this time of uncertainty: Sure, make fun of them online, but the power of righteous truth in your protest means absolutely fuck all if someone shoots you with a machine gun. So, like...be careful, please.

Hey Xbox Xbox Game Pass, Explain why I can play a portion of my purchased library thru the cloud on a Meta Quest headset, BUT NOT on the actual #XBox console made to play the game? Like, cool service, 10/10, but explain the logic behind such a backwards release?

I keep thinking these are Jeopardy questions. Pick a new format.

BREAKING NEWS: It's the fourth one because #Democrats point it out and then immediately drop the ball in spectacular fashion. Every. Single. Time.

As he does more tv, watch how the crowd slowly starts to add "/Walz" to what they say.

I'm definitely no longer taking #FilmTwitter seriously if they're surprised the movie BASED ON MINECRAFT had a big opening weekend.

It took McCain over 60 votes and a brain tumor to finally do the right thing, so...

It's crazy how they made a slogan.

How are those courts victories you keep saying you're getting going for ya, Democrats?

An important thing to remember about the #stockmarketcrash is that they are disappearing college students off the street in broad daylight and you're not talking about it anymore.

Remember kids: Wars are only ever about two things, land and resources.

This is Schumer saying $5000 and now Amy Klobuchar is saying less than $4000 at the same time? They really need to get together on this.

So I'm 17 chapters into Black Box, and I don't know Jason Pargin, author of John Dies at the End, etc. I mean, I just don't know... Are you right? Are you wrong? Is it relevant? Good book, tho.

Cheese burger flavored toothpaste is just too much to ask for I guess.

The fact that you're taking a weekend off is why you lose, James Tate. Just saying.

That's not Amy Adams!!!!

Yo, Xbox Xbox Support, it's the opposite of "Pre-Install" if I have to download the rest of the game when I first open it. #Ground

All that build up for a cantrip that critically missed, WELCOME TO #DnD, BABY!!!! #themightynein