New Year. New Twitter account. New post it note above my computer: "DON'T DRINK AND TWEET."

When you're strapped for something amusing to Tweet, I say piggyback on someone else's brilliance.

Okay, so my husband is the best pizza maker in the world! A bold statement, yes, but I can back it up with a full-length shot of my over-carbed, over-fed body. But, for reasons of dignity/shame, I will not. So you'll just have to take my word for it.

To this day...still one of my faves. youtu.be/iG3VfKlfDEk via YouTube

Kids brought home gastro from school. Gotta tell ya, there's nothing quite as glamorous and dignified as sitting on the toilet with a vomit bowl on your lap.

Menopause sucks. Just saying.

The more I read about: the latest scientific discoveries; philosophical ponderings; religious beliefs etc, I'm reminded of what a brilliant, truth-searching species we are. I'm also reminded of one, glaring, absolute truth: We absolutely know nothing.

Ordered a caesar salad at a cafe. Now, since when has crumbling a boiled egg over the top been considered acceptable? #runnypoachedeggonmycaesarthanks