Halo fans: "we want splitscreen and infection" *Gets added two years after the game comes out and everyone has already moved on

Every friend group needs that one evil traitor

Jake Paul: You’re going DOWN in the ring, pal! 😤🥊🥊 Mike Tyson: I am gay and a pedophile

Koba was actually pretty cool

In line for the exterminator, smells like the underside of my nutsack.

Still don't understand his one dance move of jerking off invisible people

Can't wait until smiling friends gets the Rick and Morty treatment so I can enjoy it alone

Trump pulled out a Cheesecake Factory menu at today's rally.

You cannot say "someone should try again" on the internet

Violence is not the way to go. Give peace a chance.

A guy had hiccups for 68 years because a head injury damaged the part of his brain that suppressed the hiccup response. We're set to hiccup by default and it's actively inhibited. If our bodies are designed, it's a mess of legacy spaghetti code and the engineer should be fired

I get so mad when I'm not at work at other people who are also not at work.

(Five guys exploring a Roman temple) black guy: we're in Rome??? (they see a skyscraper in the distance) nerdy girl implied to be gay a bit: im not so sure (Jack Black in polo shirt appears) nerdy girl: who're you? Jack Black: I'm Sid Meier...and this is my Civilisation!

This dude was hit in the head so hard that he's borderline retarded by the way

The goat

Lady at the stoplight: playing on her phone after it turned green* Me: HONK