🧡Good Morning, Fuck You🖤 ~5k, #kylux, mature, getting together, 5+1 things, there was only one bed archiveofourown.org/works/67422115

I have now written 500k+ words of wincest (since last February). shout out to my alpha reader who has read them all, even though they haven't watched the show. shout out to my tireless beta. and shout out to everyone who's read at least some of those words. you mean a lot to me.

every discussion of Sam and/or Dean characterization makes me break out in a cold sweat and want to urgently re-read the entire 500k words I've written to see if I fucked it all up because I'm too dumb to properly analyze media.

spent two hours crying because all the fic projects I have are dumb and don't make sense, and I just can't do this anymore.

day two of mental breakdown. I'm so used to being a laughing stock in every social group I've been in, I can't trust anyone anymore, but I can't do this alone either. it's bad. I don't see a way out. I just want to give up and be done with myself.

wrote 500 utterly mediocre words of a criminally overdone trope, but hey, the worst of the breakdown is over, and I'm writing. thanks everyone for your support. 💛💛💛

was thinking about my s3 farewell fucking WIP during lunch, which led to me thinking about the finale, so now I'm crying into my pierogi, fuck this fucking show.

one of the lines that cut me to pieces is this from 6x01: forget Lisa and Ben, without Sam, Dean considers himself to be alone because literally no one else counts, they may be a duty, a responsibility, but never the sense of his life

❤️Would You Like Some Pie with That?💙 Coffee Shop AU + Fantasy AU #wincest, explicit, getting together, stuffed with anachronisms, work in progress Prologue + Chapter 1 archiveofourown.org/works/68089301…

me as a fic writer: I want my sex scenes to be long, detailed, and emotional me as an asexual: JESUS CHRIST HOW LONG CAN IT TAKE TWO PEOPLE TO FUCK????

❤️I know I would kneel to you💙 ~29k, season 10 AU #wincest, explicit, established relationship, demon Dean, King of Hell Sam, dark Winchesters collab with Mörökölli for Wincest Reverse Bang 2025 archiveofourown.org/works/68312921…

planning a fic and, apparently, my plotting strategy for SPN is whenever in doubt, start killing angels.

currently sitting on eight finished drafts, the last of which is scheduled to be posted in *checks calendar* October. posting as I write? never heard of her. (it's mostly because I struggle to find time for editing, plus I need every fic betaed by a native speaker.)

on the one hand, I'm sad because I'm not horny enough to be in the fandom. on the other hand, I WILL flood AO3 with my bland asexual porn and cackle evilly every time some poor soul clicks on my fic expecting hotness and gets whatever it is I end up writing (not that).

here, have a snippet of a season 3 finale AU #wincest farewell fucking because I cannot suffer alone.

❤️gladly, I await the knife💙 ~15k, season 15 #wincest, explicit, POV Sam second person, post-barn grief, angst with a happy ending Chapter 1. The Wandering Years archiveofourown.org/works/68960301…

happy 100 wincest fics in planning to me (send help)

told mother that the sensible thing for me to do would be to quit fic writing and focus on my career or smth, and she told me that I should keep writing because it’s obviously important to me. I think we’re doing this parental pressure thing wrong.