What the fuck is this shit

Called my parents today. 90% of the phone call was in Spanish. The 10% was the words I forgot how to say in Spanish like dick bag and trophy😂

Both of my parents' first language is Spanish. We were raised in a strictly English-speaking household...unless we were getting yelled at or when my parents were talking shit about us.

I was carrying up my things from my room to the living room to set up my laptop for work, right? I had papers, clipboard, and laptop. I couldn't find my phone. I had to use my watch to find my phone. Where was my phone? In MY HAND.

So, the ladies at work want to buy my salsa. I'm going to get some mason jars and figure out canning so I can sell it.

Oh, hi. My name is Mari and I tripped. hurt my already hurt ankle then stubbed my toe on the same foot off of a concrete block. Yay

*looking at pressure cookers for canning*

This is what I want

Watching people arguing on X be like:

I don’t trust men with more than one ring on their fingers

I have my pre-op appt next week. Dun dun dun. I'm really excited to get this done. I am tired of having half breasts. I am tired of feeling incomplete and self-conscious of what I wear. I would like to feel normal.

I, too can be horrible for 250k.

😭😂😂😂

Ass or cash, doesn't have cash so...

Im a homie!

No one: Me: can I please have 3 dozen taquitos