NEPOTISM PICK?: The Portland Trail Blazers select Cedric Cowherd, nephew of media personality Colin Cowherd, with the #11 pick of the #NBADraft. Welcome to #RIPCITY 🌹

TRADE ALERT: The Chicago Bulls are sending a package of Lonzo Ball, Coby White, the #12 overall pick in this year’s #NBADraft and cash considerations to the Boston Celtics for Jaylen Brown, Derrick White, and a future second round pick. Per Shams Charania

VIVA LA FRANCE: Ce perdant a été drafté avec le 12ème choix de la draft NBA 🇫🇷 #NBADraft #ChicagoBulls

LITTLE ZION: The Pelicans TRADE UP to select Derrik Queen with the 13th pick of this year’s #NBADraft He told our reporters earlier today that he hoped to go to New Orleans so he could learn from and emulate Zion Williamson “on and off the court”

PLAYBOI CARTER: The Spur’s select Arizona forward Carter Bryant with the 14th pick of this year’s NBA Draft 🔥 He has two sisters #Spurs

THE BIG ZIONIST: The Israeli guard, Ben Sarif, will be dropping bombs from deep with the Brooklyn Nets after being selected with the 26th pick in this year’s #NBADraft

The Brooklyn Nets have their IRON DOME with the selection of Danny Wolf at the #27 pick of this year’s #NBADraft, just one pick after selecting fellow Israeli Ben Sarif. Our sources say that God promised them the #1 seed roughly 2000 years ago.

Philadelphia 67ers

wow central michigan beat the national champs, i guess it really is the year of the chippewa

they’re paying $4.1 mil to the fluffer

the Motor City Shot Artist is at it again

just a reminder, jordan bell is only 31. teams should be LINING up to sign him

caleb swanigan died???

i can’t think of a single person who has failed so many real shots tbh

big shoutout to the poor poor intern that had to watch through all 50 hours of his rambling to find that

sports really are a great sample for economic politics. soccer sucks because it’s free market and leads to like 3 teams being good. basketball rocks because they are the communists who lift teams out of poverty. this would be the equivalent of gorbachev tearing down the wall.

pistons are #3 in attendance btw

i guess my confusion on the tanking “issue” comes from this: were the pelicans fun this year? they don’t have their pick, so they definitely weren’t tanking. was this stinker of a year better? not really!

i remember about 2 weeks ago when red wings and tigers fans were like “yeah the pistons are the fourth most popular team in detroit” lol

the solution to tanking is more obvious than people think: double everything. twice as many players rostered, 10 people per team on the court, court twice the size to accommodate, basket twice as high just because i’m curious what that would look like