44.

Sorry. Can’t. I live in a small town. You know what that’s like. *vague gesture* Super busy avoiding all men from a Big City who might have recently inherited a tree farm & are liable to stay here after being charmed into rediscovering the true meaning of Christmas.

What news, comrades

Snagged from FB, yet also accurate! Anything is possible

I give praise to the Legacy Verified Accounts. I ask for the wisdom of ancient verification. O ancestors! Bring upon me the truest of blue checkery!

This holiday season, be advised that splitting a Wine Country Gift Basket between two people is a questionable dinner choice

Today in my household we had a Very Important Conversation about how when you hear the oven timer beeping, you do not just walk over and shut it off.

I’m officially the kind of person who watches Under the Banner of Heaven episodes on her birthday. Being deeply disturbed is a mode of celebration, for me

we all got that one mutual who knows everything and has seen the end

Hearing a snippet of the Tetris theme song means never having to endure another moment of mental silence

I would like to propose a Nobel Shade Prize, with the first being awarded to Greta Thunberg for her outstanding work in the field of Andrew Taint

Come here. Look into my eyes. You with me? Know that I did not drink of the booze for the last week, but as of noonish Central Time I may have commenced the ride to next year with a pancake brunch and a couple of screwdrivers. My tweets may become highly celebratory 😘

Did you know that it is currently the year two thousand and twenty-three? Why isn’t anybody talking about this?

grapefruit-flavored thing: a mysterious treat. a playful delight to the senses actual grapefruit: despicable hate orb

Current status: repainting my office, which is a job of more steps than is really ideal due to the way I painted and decorated it the last time, because as it turns out I am more creative than practical 🎨

Not being able to use tweetbot means I am basically not here most of the time. Just one more delightful aspect of the new regime on this website