“Mom, dad, your name is gonna be turn around okay?” If I told you what it took to get us from there to - our new Netflix profile name is Turn Around like from the Never-ending Story song - your brain would melt.

I'm seriously starting to question the credibility of the FIFA Peace Prize.

I have been cutting up the plastic things that hold cans together for the last 20 years so that they wouldn't strangle a sea turtle

Did yall know there’s moscato with 16% alcohol? I’m falling apart trying to watch football and keep my hands off my husband.

This sh!t’s for real…

I am begging the SNL gods for a new generation Superfans sketch with Jake Connelly and Finn Wolfhard this weekend. The writes itself…

He was always terrifying until I’d see that goofy grinch belly

if you call it a skit, i dont want to hear your opinion on snl

I have a six pack of Shiner, tomato basil bread, turkey, bacon, fancy mustard, and two kinds of cheeses. It’s about to get SEXY up in here.

Alphas A League of Their Own Welcome to Flatch

You ever find a $20 pair of doc martens and buy them just to stick it to that ass-face kid who made fun of your knock-offs in 6th grade and also have boots for adorable outfits?!

Help! I’m opening a little booth at the vendor mall antique shop I do social media for and I need a name.

“And when I’m returning from so far away, she gives me some sweet lovin’ brighten up my day…”

I have never had an abortion and I will die defending all those women who want one. It's called solidarity and empathy.

I had surgery today to remove an umbilical hernia and was informed afterward that I actually had 4 hernias to remove…

Board of Peace immediately bored of peace

What’s my biggest turn on? Apparently it’s two local brews and a trivia night win.

Yes but also the sitting in the floor thing is seriously the cutest.

Cheesy as it is, A Thousand Years was our first dance (no regrets). So tonight’s Shrinking was a lot. I got actual chills a few times.

I fought all the “wanna sit down” today so I could get my back porch back. And I’m never leaving.