risked listeria for a deli meat sammie and it was mid …………….. kms

why do so many men on the train smell like mildew ??? like professionally dressed, corporate branded backpack, REEKING of a forgotten swimsuit ??

what if we made the next big tiktok microtrend just being urself :)

photoshopping the tattoos i’m supposed to get tmrw onto myself so i’m 1000% sure on placement …….. thank god i learned this skill in middle school bc i wanted to make ipod touch lockscreen masterpieces like this :)

one of my favorite little tasks is precision cutting pictures out of magazines with an xacto knife ….. dream job fr … like a collager’s assistant or something 😮‍💨

i go on, he’s annoying, enemies the entire show, narrows down to us in the final and i win. he falls in love with me for beating him. i fall in love with him during the post-show promo tour (but i always loved him a lil 🤫), we get an HGTV show restoring a farm & start a family

confession: purple is such an ugly color to me but it breaks my heart when ppl say that about orange so i bite my tongue if the topic comes up

ups man who delivers packages to my job said i’m lookin skinnyyyyy 😎 he also said i should work for ups bc he gets paid more than me

last three guys i’ve dated have the same job and same tattoo and end things with me the same way …………. too bad i’m tenacious and don’t learn my lesson !! :) let’s go number four !!!!!!!!

overhearing ppl on the train give tourists the wrong directions like 🤐🫥

scrapbooking at the bar tmrw after work btw. open invite 😎

i love my brain on adderall !!! sitting on the train to work listening to radiohead and mentally mapping out a potential siege of manhattan ….. i could be a really good general if i believed in the cause enough

everytime i draw something i always feel like this

🫤

what if i want to stay home from work today and do arts and crafts..............

left work early today bc i had an appointment (i wanted to the see the freaky friday sequel with my friends)

all my youtube ads are for horse food lately 🤔

rip jane goodall, im the monkey lady now