“______ said she doesn’t like you” Me:

Tom B. Cody Wolfe 🎸 “Half off for your favorite private jet rocking future country superstar?” LMAOOOOOOO holy shit

Lord help me

Be honest, do you ever clean under your couch? Or how often

Why is my customer service voice so involuntarily high pitched?

If you’re gonna be stupid you better be tough

Trying to put jewelry into a piercing that’s grown shut is an extreme sport

Can we all have an honest conversation about how often this happens??

I’m a firm believer that as long as you work hard , and set your mind to it , you can be successful in whatever it is you wish for .

Favorite bronzer?

I’m getting the ick so bad I could throw up. Daddy long legs

I literally am

You’ll never hear an apology from me for being patriotic as fuck. Kiss my ass. Happy 4th 🎆🇺🇸

Long showers hit so hard

Hi