Weather make up its mind. Hot, hot, hot one week 70s, 80s, 90s. Then this morning and tomorrow... #FROST!

So today is the official start of summer. Unless you're one of those fools who think we have to wait until June 21. #ThinkOutsideTheCalender

Did you know? If your thumb swells on a regular basis you have cholesterol problems. Really? Your thumb can tell you that? #Interesting

Why would she sing "I crash my car into the bridge... I don't care"? I know if I crashed my car into the bridge I'd be a little rabid #What?

Anyone look at the Google page this morning? #DaHeck?

Really hate the new host! I wish Drew could come back but that lady could probably be a better improviser rather than host. #WhoseLineIsBack

My Gosh! SHUT UP! It's a freakin' baby being born... not even in our country. What's with all the American fuss? #RoyalBabyNoBigDeal

Love that heat! #BurnBabyBurn

"How are you ma'am? How is your day?" That's what you say... NOT "Why aren't you in the kitchen?" #RaisedRight

Misunderstood when someone flips you the thumb!

Jesus could get on Twitter and be like 'fear not, child. I know for a fact that your going to heaven!' and someone would be like 'you're.'

That is an awkward moment when the US House of Representatives starts following you on Twitter.

Time spent using Tupperware... 4% storing fresh food. 12% storing rotten food. 84% Searching for the right lid. #ItsTrue

Trying to figure out what is the best thing since sliced bread...

You try to impress a girl who you've never talked to by getting them the newest JB CD. They get up... Walk over to you... Oh they're deaf.

Sometimes I just wish I was cool... but I know winter is right around the corner. #TooSoon

I just want people to accept me for who I pretend to be.

Too many people admit defeat when they're so close. #DontQuit

11 more days until... not warmer weather; that's for sure.

Fake Twitters and Businesses following me. Should I be worried?