Everyone pour out an extra beer for your horses today

Is it okay to let my dog watch 10 hours of king of the hill while I’m at work?

10am Golden Corral queen??

When the little beach town has a farmers market on Thursday 🥵

3 flight delays and 1 Tito’s screwdriver got me wanting to act up at the local Joe’s Crab Shack

She doesn’t even know I’m 2k total on OSRS, or maybe she does and that’s why she hates me

I’m not sorry that I tried sticking a quarter in your butt crack

More money more coleslaw

must print blue man group tickets before flight to vegas @DantePirrello

When someone puts mushrooms in the lasagna

At the farmers market feeling like a bad bitch again

how many hot dogs y'all think I'm gonna pound today at this contest?

Can I come over and do this

I do not need a jet ski I do not need a jet ski I do not need a jet ski

If you tarnish my name at the bowling alley you’re dead to me

Steak tartare and a million beers later queen?

It’s so crazy to me that I can vividly remember the first time I heard laffy taffy

I blew my own mind when I used chopped French fries as a garnish on clam chowder

Need 2 tickets to movements @ house of blues Orlando March 9th pls help