Hello Scranton! We are Muse! We're playing this exclusive show for you before we have to start playing Blaseball next season.

Resurrect Randy Weed so we can smoke him in the tour bus after the show

Did anyone buy our latest album? What was it called? I don't know I don't really remember anything past Black Holes and Revelations.

'What The Fuck Is a Snail?' - our new EP, out Sunday

Actually this whole time it's been pronounced Moose we just keep forgetting to put the umlaut on stuff

Lots of people big mad about an election. Seems to be the norm really. That's why we have always supported Zordon the Destroyer's one incomprehensible space horror one vote policy. He's the incomprehensible space horror, and he has the vote.

Soundcheck tonight was a disaster. Chris kept swinging his bass like a blasball bat. Took out three guitar techs.

Ah hell where is this elsewhere place? We have tour dates to honour.

I'm glad we didn't lose any letters from our name. There's only 4 as it is. No-one wants to pay bank to see M-s- play live.

It's pretty easy to hit home runs when you do it with a guitar

Seems weird that they'd let a kid play a game where you can die. Anyway we asked our manager to send York's family some merch.