Well 5 eggs and 2 slices of bread later for my second breakfast should last me maybe 3 hours... if I'm lucky.

Pray your daughter doesn’t grow up postin’ selfies & half naked pics for attention. And pray your son doesn’t grow up & hit women. Merica.

Started laughing to myself at a tweet and some bitch looked over at me. Don't look at me I can laugh at my phone and not be judged thanks.

The guys that use blender bottles for water... I hate you

FINALLY I'M SO PUMPED BUYING OPENING DAY TICKETS IDGAF x.com/CauseWereGuys/…

The most badass news headline ever. Merica.

who made this weak shit? i'd whoop twister's ass if he every got that idea

Xbox is pissing me off man I'm tryna play this black ops 3 beta the fuck you mean you haven't fixed the problem yet. #killinmehere

Idk if I should be mad or happy that they moved my schedule around today to have today off instead of tomorrow... #blackops3beta

This is right next to my house and I'm not going but look at the temp -__- x.com/Chargers/statu…

Real shit the fact that Miley Cyrus is hosting vmas makes not want to go anywhere close to that channel.

Totally getting the best husband of the year award after all these surprises ^-^ #26days

Not even two days into the college football season and already there's a candidate for hit of the year. es.pn/1KQZ9uc

Thank god college football is back #merica #ilovethistimeofyear #yeeyee

This auburn Louisville game is gonna be an offensive game if there possessions go like this all game.

Spoke too soon. Auburn locked em down. #gooddefense #collegefootballisback

@kmcsheridan thanks bro!! I miss you too!!

Merica.

Man I just wanna watch terrorist be shot drink whiskey and have a dip tonight cause we're merica and we kick ass.