hey do you ever think about howie mandel?

deal or no deal?

Just a quick reminder that tomorrow is garbage day if your garbage day is on Thursday. If your garbage day isn’t on Thursday, I don’t know what to tell you

back in 2013, i made sure to tweet only the most important stuff

.Apple Support any plans to combine these two emojis? 😔🤠 I would love to be able to convey to people that even though I am sad, I am still a cowboy. Please fix ASAP

wonder if there are going to be any new instagram pics tomorrow

That’s it. I’m killing an armadillo for no reason.

saying “doggo” or “pupper” are international war crimes and you will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law

did anyone else used to think the carlson towers were the twin towers or was i just a dumb kid

me (most days): wealth inequality is a sickness me (after bowling a strike): i deserve one hundred percent of the money supply

should I get a Baby on Board sticker for my car so everyone knows who's driving?

not sure that this man reviewing the Instant Ramen Noodles Variety Pack understood what the image section was for

Me doing both Estelle and Kanye’s parts in American boy

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

CDC just announced that corona can be spread via Instagram story challenges :-/

incredible

Does anyone think global warming is a good thing? I love Lady Gaga. I think she's a really interesting artist.