how the hell do a dragon and a donkey have kids biology majors you have the floor

all these backup dancers look like cubone and you can’t convince me otherwise

just need that man who’s gonna levitate a pear across the table and cut it for me iykyk

you don’t know the real definition of luxury til your broke. a bitch just wants to buy a pop-tart without stressing

let me be bitter in ~peace~ thank u

tell me “dead wet wookie” isn’t the saddest phrase you’ve ever heard

my drafts are the kind of funny i just cant expose

relationships 🤢 marriage 🤢 commitment 🤢 weddings ✨😩💕🤩

back to those friend quotes “d**** out for zoboomafoo”

mask burning party when this shits finally over. who’s in

on today’s episode of two flat tires in 12 hours

i know it’s already a meme but when you’re upset and you get caught on the door handle... it just happened and oh my fuck it almost brought me to tears

ooooo i’m about to be on some new energy. pls hold for upgrade

mcdonalds it’s 2021 i need your ice cream machine to work past 9:30

if you’re judging me on my private story don’t worry boo i got something jusss for you ✨removed✨

can I get a vaccine. CAN I PLEEASEE GET A VACCINE

2021 mood: abu trying to eat bananas as an elephant

sometimes when kids be laughing i don’t know if they’re genuinely overjoyed or severely unhinged

so i can’t get gas OR a 4 piece supreme ?!?!