My mate failed his aboriginal music exam. I asked him, “Did you redo it?”

My New Years resolution is going well, I’ve given up chocolate! Not thinking about it, it’s not even in my vocadbury.

For most of the 8 years I have been on #Twitter I have mostly been annoying Martin Spiers #thefastshow

- i think i’ll take a risk and wait for my jab. i want to see the evidence that this vaccine is safe first. my body is precious to me — anyway, i’ll have this litre of vodka and 40 silkcut please...

You need to advise that Pet insurance increases with age, the cover is reduced too. #ThisMorning

🎶Old McDonald had an upside down calculator... 01313

🍻Competition Time🍻 We're opening this amazing BrewDog beer hotel in Edinburgh with beer on tap in all the rooms! Plus, fridges in the shower for shower beers, obviously. Opens Q3 2021 Retweet for a chance to win a 2 night stay for 2! 3 lucky winners will be picked at random

Never underestimate the power of a duck.

Reducing my single use plastic cleanlivingint.com/shop/?wpam_id=…🐠🐬🐟🐙🦑🦐🦞🦀 #refillnotlandfill #WorldOceansDay2021 #WorldOceanDay

This was taken 95 years ago, in August 1926, and is a vibrant portrait of the Imafuku family at the Catholic mission in the mountain city of Matsumoto, on Honshu, Japan. The autochrome was taken by Roger Dumas and is original colour, not colourised.

Not sharing the #PhilSpencer video where he kills a deer then shows off his true persona as he gleefully toys with it's corpse. This description, as vile as it is, is nothing compared to what is captured on that camera. If I ever see him on TV again I will switch off immediately.

Tracey Leech It's been a while but you've not improved 🙈

Woaah we’re halfway there... Wooo-ooah...

Bumped into Neil Diamond in the supermarket...

Why is Mickey Mouse’s helicopter no use in Scotland? Disneyland... #StAndrewsDay

Good Morning Martin Spiers

Get down there fellas. #lifesaving

All men over 50 in Lancaster and surrounding areas, read this and go for a test. #saveslives

Hey guys and girls, we would really appreciate it if you could help us gain some followers, either by sharing /retweeting or maybe tagging us in a post if you've purchased from us before, Massive thanks in advance ❤️