Sometimes I like to ride a tandem bicycle...alone.

Yeah I've hit the bottom...time to listen to Queen...because it's 1:30 in the morning and I want to dance

Women sometimes are like a cookies. Sometimes you get a cookie and sometimes you lift the lid and a large amount of wasps come out attacking

I think I understand why women think men are dogs We both smell funny, eat strange things that could kill us, and we don't like talking much

Sometimes I feel like cake. Old moldy cake. That is all.

Sometimes naps are the best solution...if people would just fall over asleep instead of fighting. Fighting is so much work.

Sometimes life is like a box of chocolates. It gives you ache, and slowly makes you fat.

I feel like I'm in the real life version of the movie Contagion right now.

Terrible first date ideas: Going to see Gone Girl.

Terrible first date ideas: Going to get your dog spayed.

Dating sites should be honest at the bottom of your search page. Instead of reading that's all we could find it should read you're pathetic

terrible first date ideas: Going to meet her parents

Being single isn't that bad. I've been pro since 17.

My brother got a katana sword yesterday. Was deeply saddened when Randy Jackson's signature wasn't on the blade #stepbrothers foever

Sometimes I wish online dating was more personalized. The site I would use would be called okstupid instead of okcupid.

Whataburger - David Battaglia: youtu.be/tjFlSiViWmU via YouTube

I swear on the graves of my unborn, already dead great grandchildren that I will make sure a Lethal Weapon 5 is made before the day I die.

I'll never get over how good the Beach Boys still are.

Valentine's day is a lot like Hanukkah for me I don't know much about it, nor the rituals of it, but I respect the people that partake in it

yo x.com/klaricemccarro…