Every competent multi-tasking Boomer started with this beautiful baby...

Norway's "You Kids Stay Off My Lawn" holiday is tomorrow.

Me: Hi, is this Mar-A-Largo? Voice: Yes, how can I help you? Me: I'm responding to your ad for box technician. Voice: Great. Have you moved boxes before? Me: Thousands of them. Voice: Great. What is your name? Me: Rico. Capital R, capital I, capital C, capital O.

There's a gambling website called Assholes Politicians where you can bet on asshole politicians. After today's ouster of Speaker Kevin McCarthy, "Asshole Politicians" set the number of times a vote in Congress will be needed to elect a new Speaker at 14. I bet $50 on the over.

Right now close to the Capitol. a 41-year-old Florida man is trying to pick up two 18-year-old Hooters servers by showing them the balls of a 61-year-old California man.

JD Vance is excited to hit the campaign trail. Tomorrow, he will be visiting Davenport, IA and Intercourse, PA

It’s like America is waking up and deciding not to be in an abusive relationship any longer!!!

Phoenix, you were incredible today! Now let’s go win this!

President Biden did something Donald Trump could never do: He put his country over ego, ambition, and pride. He bowed out with grace and dignity. His patriotism won out over any denial or wounded pride or false sense of infallibility. For this and much else, we thank you, Joe.

I just moved my 98 y/o Dad from FL to NC. Tonight, he turned to me and said, with great urgency, “I’ve got to get registered to vote right away! I need to vote against Trump!” He fought on Saipan in WWII, and 80 years later he’s still pushing back against fascism. ❤️

JD: Good morning smart and capable campaign staff personnel. I popped in a business that makes and sells small cakes with holes. Staffer: Sir, they're called donuts. JD: Yes they are and I got three dozen, which means 36. But we're down to 34. I'm violating two of them right now.

She was driving one tonight. Ran over 325 pounds of orange garbage. Then backed over it for good measure.

Tonight Trump put Kamala Harris “in her place.” Perhaps you’ve seen it?

Tonight, I will be reading "Run Spot Run" to my dog. I've noticed my Haitian neighbor eye-balling him.

Word on the street is that the pet-eating story arose from JD Vance wandering into a lesbian bar in Springfield and not understanding their lingo.