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Look, if you can walk off with a goose you’ve taken from the park lake then fair play. Do what you want with it. You are the Goose King.

THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO.

If anyone’s still here, Amazon have put the box set of my first 3 books on sale for 99p. Get at it. amazon.co.uk/How-Dead-Books…

Who are these people that train passengers phone at 7:30 in the morning for a chit-chat? If you phone me before 8 and I find out nobody is dying, I swear I will hunt you down.

Mel C’s gone full kit wanker. #TOTP

I’m quite glad I spent most of 1996 drunk. #TOTP

It’s no “Every Loser Wins”, Gary #TOTP

No fucking shit. #TOTP

Today’s the last day my first 3 books are 99p on Amazon. Go on. I’ve quit my job for this. amazon.co.uk/How-Dead-Books…

Isn’t this just a plot device in bad 90s movies?

Someone’s brought this doll onto Flog It. It doesn’t need selling. It needs burning, the ashes burying, and the earth salted so it can never rise again.

I’ve never wanted to own a piece of art more in my life.

Farewell then, Geoff Capes. Tonight I shall honour you by tearing a phone book in half (which is a lot easier now nobody has a land line)

Come on. It’s only an 11 letter word. I have faith in you, monkeys.

Big day. Just taken Twitter off my phone front page and replaced it with the app that’s Blue. I’m over there with the same username if you’re vaguely interested.

I’ve settled in over at Bluesky. You can get me at mrdaveturner.bsky.social

I’ve been doing some writing. aimforthehead.substack.com/p/the-endless

aimforthehead.substack.com/p/walking-and-…

I wrote about one of my favourite film genres. aimforthehead.substack.com/p/my-favourite…

I've just launched a Kickstarter for my new book. There's some cool stuff there. Why not go and have a look? Perhaps to support it. Perhaps to laugh at my stupid voice on the video. kickstarter.com/projects/davet…