One of my favorite parts of Thanksgiving weekend this year is teaching my grandma how every modern issue is Ronald Reagan’s fault

Nah the way I just skipped like 20 paid promotion TikToks and actual ads is fucked

Being the office socialist is tough but important work

Truly a tragic experience to think you chose the fastest check out lane at the grocery store and watching someone else finish before you

Few things as intimidating as cleaning out the closet

the “trump will save tiktok” promise is designed to distract you from shit like this btw

Today, honor a King, not a Felon. #mlkday2025

Getting pulled over for a clerical error is a new one

Leaving this for the next time my supervisor reads my Twitter Hello there 👋🏼

Reserved a hotel in Paris for next year and accidentally triggered a fraud alert with my bank oops

Life is amazing when you approach it with open arms ~ ~

I know my roommate loves me cause I’m sick and he went on a quest for Vernor’s on his lunch break before seeing his partner 🥹

If I had a nickel for every time I had to mediate in my friend groups I wouldn’t be worried about my student loans

I have just been compared to a badger

At this point I think the constantly Mission Impossible movies are just a big money laundering scheme for the church of Scientology

Watching Elon & Trump tear each other apart is the perfect vibe for the day

It’s Friday, everything is on fire, and I’m. Broke But at least I’m on my silly little walk

The amount of times I’m 10+ years late to banger albums is tragic

How do I explain that I love Tiramisu and hate the trend it has become without sounding pretentious