President Donald Trump. #SomethingWickedIn3Words

Because we all needed this today. ❤️😭 RETWEET THIS!

Who did this?? And thank you. #Aquaman

Ew. Why would you EVEN?!

Gmorning November You lurch & you lumber From bonfire to ember From waking to slumber You deaden the grass & you piss in the pot The birds all haul ass And the pumpkins all rot Remember, November: Momentous elections Ignite us, divide us, Divine new directions November— Chill.

November is here, and that means a massive shift is coming. And by "massive" I am of course referring to the redefinition of the kilogram unit of mass that the world has been building up to for more than 100 years. Let me explain:

Dear Kroger: This is a really lousy sale. Love, me.

It's #SaturdayMorning AND it's #NationalSandwichDay so we're having a tasty triple stacked Francis Bacon, Lettice and Tomato on white bread...

This is wonderful! Make sure you check out the thread. 🐐=🐑+😡

Registered for the spring semester! It will be my last two-course semester, and I have modeling in regression and time series analysis. Real analysis over the summer, and then thesis work next fall. It's amazing to see how close I am to graduation!

VOTED! Now you go do the same.

And other gamers are boycotting the game, because that shit is WAY uncool.

Um... no thanks, I'd rather not have polio on my nachos today.

ZAMBONI DUST!!! We need a campaign for Merriam-Webster and @OxfordWords to add this term to the dictionary!

When you get a phone call from a number that isn't in your contact list, what do you do?

Gnight. You are so IMPORTANT. You are someone's aching unrequited love, you are the cherished child, you are the friend who answered the late-night call and changed everything, you are someone's reason for getting up again. You don’t see it yet. But you are.