There's infinite time lines, Morty. Why would I stay in the one where I trashed the White House, became an enemy of America and the lowest-status character in my idiot family?

Because of the fart?

There's still some rubble over there.

I don't think you've ever understood what "Secretary of the Interior" means!

Hi, Mr. President. I'm Rick Sanchez, but not the one that did this. We Ricks travel the infinite and switch places with each other like hermit crabs, I think.

I'm fly-fishing Rick. You can distinguish me from the Rick that you had a falling-out with by my fly-fishing enthusiasm and accompanying hat. I hope I can be of service if, uh, you ever find the planet to be in danger. Friends?

Sounds good to me.

Kids, dinner! I got Panda Express!

Did you get sugar chicken?

That's kind of the only thing they have.

I love Panda E! Thanks, Mom!

I'm hoping to get a piece of your sugar chicken later.

Stop it.

Here's your [Rick burps.] stupid hat, dipshit.

Dad, you can't talk to Jerry that way anymore. We're a real family now. In many ways, things will be like season 1, but more streamlined. Now Jerry and I are happily married parents, and the idea that I was motivated by a fear of you leaving can be eschewed.

Eschewed? You've never used that word. Maybe you are a clone!

It's not like Rick would tell us.

[Everyone laughs.]

Ooh-wee! What a season! Sorry I never showed up, but I got married. I had a baby. I went back to school and got my G-E-E-E-D. What did you do while you were waiting? Hopefully you didn't just fuck around and waste your life. Ooh-wee!

See you for Season 4 in, like, a really long time! I might even have a big white Santa Claus beard and… and… and a… and a couple of grandkids and all that kind of stuff. See you… See you then!