Hearing Elon Musk say he “fully expects to get a daily proctology exam” while watching Lil X dig for gold has made my afternoon so much better 😂

I’m going to need all the Matt Rife clone accounts to stop following me. I’m reporting every one of you for impersonation because the devastation is getting too much to bear. While I’m here imma shoot my shot Matt Rife I need some Bham 🎫 and todays my bday 🙏🏽😂🤷🏽‍♀️

So apparently Ben Armstrong deleted his account literally while I was responding to this. Cassie call the fucking cops! WTF ru doing? He obv needs help, and it’s not worth the risk of whether he’s serious or not.

💥💣DO I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION⁉️⁉️ Good. The image below is a cautionary tale for all you bros who have ever tweeted or said the words “wife changing money”, and meant it, even a little. Which side do you wanna be on for Valentine’s Day?

Anybody else ran their Koinly report and gotten absolutely sick to their stomach? There are no winners in the casino. Abolish the IRS yesterday, please. #AbolishIncomeTax

Hi Jacob… looks like you need some attention, so I will play. At least ten tornadoes with multiple fatalities across Alabama yesterday and last night. This video is just one example of what people dealt with. I would suggest you might be happy one of these tornadoes didn’t hit

Not my local weather man smacking down twitter trolls

I know it’s not the popular opinion with the current fan base but Sai needs to go tf home like the only thing that will salvage the season for me if it’s full of her is when she inevitably loses to Mary #survivor #survivor48

I feel like if you are an elementary public school teacher, it should be a requirement to participate in school dress-up days. My 6 year old feeling insecure about wearing silly socks on silly sock day because no teachers did. He has always been extra on dress-up days, and

Holy rusted metal Batman my phantom wallet just got hit with a claim from the $wpond defibrillator. Too bad I’d have to swap it for sol, and receive that much more, to go back pro again… ah well, I’m grateful for what I got 🤷🏽‍♀️ @hwonder and whatever tf Paulys’s @ is today

Mental illness, delusion, savageness of nature, disconnection with reality, and mob mentality are alive and well on Twitter, in the US, and worldwide. We, as a society, are fucking cooked.

Based on the interaction I’ve experienced as of late, it seems like the most delusional and psychotic people have an account dedicated to a pop star, refer to female celebrities as “mother”, speak in riddles (kys, ggs, stfd, bb [bye bitch? based on context], and feel like killing

The best thing I’ve seen on the internet this week

Hey McDonald's your new McCrispy Chicken Strips are McGarbage

My 6 year old is damn near the happiest he has ever been about something, but my spidey senses tell me this may have been one of the biggest mistakes I’ve made thus far in this parenting journey🤷🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ #minecraft #boymom

hey Grok will you please choose ONE X account that likes and retweets this post, who also follows Pork and comments "GEOFF DOESNT MISS" to win 500M $PORK from my personal stash within the next 48 hours? ill quote this & tag the winner with the transaction link after.