To Do List: Put on panties and call the Aunties. #doneanddone #crazyshitwithmyaunts

Aunt Becky's helping cheat on the SAT's?!? Where is the sad Full House music and a lengthy speech from Danny Tanner when you need it?

Tim Hortons has London Fog now? My life just got infinitely better!!! Tim Hortons

Shut up it's on.....you don't exist. #GameofThronesSeason8

Who's up for a game of Leap Frog?

Just ordered my iodide pills....thanks Ontario Power Gen ! Hopefully there isn't another "accidental meltdown/armageddon alert" sent between now and the 4 to 6 weeks it takes to mail me these pills. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, and looking for a gas mask on Amazon just in case.

Amazing...I would love to see such a beautiful performance.

I don't care that I'm 37 and eating Motts Fruitsations at work, but why are there 3 times as many grape flavor gummies as any other? I wish there was a way to eliminate grape. #wholikesgrape

Is it weird that after 30 years, I still know the opening lines of April O'Neil? Thanks Netflix Damn!

Personal Dating Rule #83: If you text me like I'm your personal Porn Star, I'm gonna send screenshots to your boss. #internetsleuth

M- "Do you think she's a tiger in the sack?" K- "Oh I've never seen Tiger King." M- "Fuck you're young."

I had my alarm set to the wrong station and woke up to Christmas music. Gross! Wait until Remembrance Day is over before flooding everyone with Christmas. Also, why is Remembrance Day not a Hoilday?

Don't forget that John Tory and City of Toronto 🇨🇦 is hosting a weekend Anti lockdown gathering called #ActiveTO The Toronto Police will shutdown intersections for you, and absolutely no social distancing, or masks are required.

This is the greatest thing I've seen on the internet today! ★ #constructiongirl

I will check every label from now on. Anything labelled Johnson & Johnson will be left at the store.

Hey Rogers how about you stop sending me reminder texts 8 days out from my bill due date? I have paid you every month for the last 15 years. You're not my bookie. Relax dude.

Bloody hell Rogers I would like to opt out of the text message reminders from bill payments that are a week out from coming due. Customer Harrassment is NOT Customer Service.

As a woman, I have too many rights. Taking away my right to have an abortion is a great idea. You should probably take away my right to vote, because decisions are hard. Also pants. Everyone knows pants are for heathens. #RoeVsWade #wtf #HandmaidsTale

A little girl asked LA animal control if she could keep a unicorn if she found one. Best response of all time. Los Angeles forever ❤️❤️

What's happening Toronto Police Operations my friend has been on hold for 2 hours! It's not an emergency, but requires a police report. I take it you're hiring seeing as no one is answering your phones?