Me: The only thing I'm guilty of is starting singalongs Judge: And that you killed a man Me: put a gun against his head Jury: pulled my trigger now he's dead Judge: mama

Co-pilot: you need to let the passengers know but keep them calm Me *presses intercom* how fun is swimming?!

Indian parents give you lectures about fake friends and gets scammed by their own brother

An interesting change in MCC's laws of cricket which will have an impact on the IPL. When a batter is out caught, the new batter shall come in at the end the striker was at. Any attempt to cross over while a catch is being taken will have no impact.

My friend was asking about my plan and I said 479/- 56 days unlimited calls 1.5GB data/day Sms: 100/day

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Andaman

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 13 years, since 18 Sep 2009 (via Twi Age 🥳).

15 y/o influencer: I just bought my own car & planning to purchase a house now. 21 y/o me : Bhai yeh zomato wala ₹8 zyada le raha swiggy se, kitne lootere log hai.

2007: Warne retires from Test cricket at the SCG. 2024: Warner retires from Test cricket at the SCG. Test cricket needs to survive long enough for Warnest to complete the set in 2041.

So, we maintained the tradition of setting an island on fire before Ram returns to Ayodhya?

DD/MM/YYYY is the superior date format , MM/DD/YYYY is just dumb.

One trade, destroyed 3 IPL teams.

Surya Kumar Yadav and Shivam Dube in big world cup matches.

One thing this week has taught us is not believe Exit Polls

देश के संसधानो पर पहला हक जसप्रीत बुमराह का है !

This tweet isn’t for people who own fan clubs😂😂

Dear ICC, It is with a heavy heart that we now announce our unavailability to replace Pakistan in the upcoming T20 World Cup. Regardless of whether they now withdraw, the short timescales ensure it is impossible for our squad to prepare in the professional manner necessary to

When you try to type anything with TV remote

Galti toh koi bhi dhoondh leta hai, kabhi galti se khud ko bhi dhoond lo.

*Went to Vodafone care* Me - Bill Boht aa rahe hai .. She - Sir apka plan kya hai? Me - Nothing till now aap bolo to milte hai sham ko..