I’d rather you invite me to go file our taxes than to ever invite me to karaoke

It’s so painful to see someone who looks SO good with dark hair but they just can’t leave that dry, brittle blonde aloneeee

I don’t know the science but Mexican spicy and Chinese spicy are not created equally. When I ask for my chinese food to be spicy my nose is running, I’m sweating, stomach is in shambles

I want a sign for my car that will light up with a press of a button that says “You were supposed to yield, dumbass” for the moments people honk at you but they were wrong. I just want them to go home knowing they were wrong not me.

This make me mad at my boyfriend for some reason

My boyfriend doesn’t like spicy food but I simply can’t except so I make everything spicy to condition him

The womanly urge to start an argument over something that happened 5 months ago 😌😌😌😌

Remember that funny time when I loved my job and I was so dedicated to them so I asked them for a raise, they offered 4%….. so I left and got a 16% raise with the SAME company Remember, always quit your jobs kids. You’re disposable to them just like they should be to you. 🫶🏽

I don’t know if y’all heard but I got bangs

I know I say this once every three months but that Puerto Rican accent is justttttt sooooo….