Hey Thorpe Park Official - I’m struggling to pre-book my scare maze tickets for next week via the app. Can you help please?

I wonder what Julian Smith’s take on the Christmas parties is, and if he was also there…. Can you confirm if you attended?

Dear Boris Johnson , I will absolutely not be paying attention to any of the restrictions you’ve placed today. Nor will the rest of the nation.

GREAT NEWS My ongoing campaign to limit the number of people retweeting this image and causing any upset to Boris Johnson has made great progress I am now so confident that nobody will RT it that I am going to tag in Boris Johnson so he can see how well we're doing. Thank you.

Personally triggered

Happy Penicillin discovery day everyone! Hope you all got your antibiotics something lovely to celebrate this special day ♥️

If you press both buttons at the same time, your toilet takes a screenshot

I’m genuinely curious. Anyone who voted conservative at the last Election - are you still happy with your decision, or no longer a supporter?

Hey Octopus Energy - is it okay if I make a pledge to pay my bills?

Hey Rishi Sunak, thanks for knocking 5p a litre off several weeks ago, it came in really handy when the fuel price went up by 4p in the past 24 hours….

Apparently Boris Johnson has just been spotted in IKEA UK. His cabinet has collapsed, so he’s looking for a new one.

I’m struggling massively with my mental health at the moment. This one hasn’t left my side the entire time I’ve been struggling. We really don’t deserve the unconditional love of dogs

NEW Boris Johnson will resign as Conservative Party leader today

Boris Goneson

I have a rule set up with Monzo 🏦 and IFTTT, that when I tweet, I “tax”myself 50p into a savings account for being salty on Twitter. This whole thing going on in government is costing me a FORTUNE

Back in the saddle. Back to entertaining at this amazing place after a week off

Finally a free day to catch up on life. I think I’ll start with a trip to the supermarket, then stop off at McDonald’s for lunch. After that I might catch a movie, and if there’s enough time I’ll go to Center Parcs.

Hey Octopus Energy - the fact I’m this much in credit is criminal, certainly considering this is since May, and there’s a financial crisis. Can you transfer it back to my bank please?

Hellooooo! Many changes going on in my career - in case you didn’t know I’m mostly one of those actor types now! Still rocking the magic too, but loving the new career path. I’ll start tweeting some of my #actorlife adventures here ☺️