>> I was already halfway through when I spotted Joanna Little. I glanced behind me, wishing I could back away from this but I didn't >>

>> have it in me to be rude to Joanna Little at the moment. I couldn't risk it getting back to my mother.] Hey

[Walking in the rest of the way, I closed the door and moved to the counter opposite Joanna Little] I'm hanging on by a thread [I shook >>

>> my head, threading my fingers together on the back of my neck and looking up at the ceiling to avoid Joanna Little's eyes. I hadn't >>

>> meant to admit that out loud but, as was her way, Joanna Little brought out the truth from me.]

[Closing my eyes, I swallowed as Joanna Little's words sank in. It took a few beats of silence between us for me to realize I wouldn't >>

>> be able to stop myself from responding] They don't? Could've fooled me. Seems like the ones /I/ care about do their very best to >>

>> leave [I opened my eyes and found Joanna Little's, wanting her to know exactly what I meant]

[I stood in stunned silence, knowing my body and face probably showed every bit of the shock I was feeling at Joanna Little's words. It >>

>> didn't matter how much time passed, every second of that day still hurt to remember] I can't... [I shoved off the counter and moved, >>

>>putting myself directly in front of Joanna Little, glaring down at her] Do you have any idea the damage you've caused? The pain you've>>

>> inflicted? Do you even care? Jesus, Jo [I grabbed Joanna Little's shoulders, not roughly but enough to keep her close] You don't get >>

>> to make decisions about what's best for other people. Christ! I wanted you! I chose you! And you just fucking walked away! I woke up >>

>> to find you gone and that pain never goes away, Jo. Not ever. I still remember it. I still feel it. So don't fucking preach to me about>>

>> how people never leave for good while holding the plane ticket that will take you away yet again [I sucked in a breath, not sure how >>

>> much more I could handle but needing to get this off my chest] You broke me. That's on you [I released Joanna Little as I panted for >>

>> breath that wasn't helping the ache in my chest. It only then occurred to me how loud I was being] (Joanna Little)

[I shook my head and turned away from Joanna Little, heading toward the door] You don't get my forgiveness. You don't get it. Not today.>>

>> Not after all this time. Not when I just watched them lower a box with my father into the ground. No. [I took a deep breath before I >>

>> shoved out of the kitchen, leaving Joanna Little behind as I went to face the rest of this hell]