Me: *warns customer about hot plate* #Dearcustomer: *immediately grabs plate and gets burned* DC:

Me outside of work: “you should apply, it’s an awesome place to work and the management is great!” Me at work:

Heading back to a table to tell them you’re 86 the item they ordered for the third time like:

Every server’s nightmare: “I know you’re cut, but...” #serverlife

Wore an edgier lipstick to work last night and thought I was rocking it until a little girl at my table very loudly whispered to her mom that I was a “scary vampire lady.” Neutrals it is, I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️ #serverlife

#Dearcustomer, halfway through a bowl of pistachio ice cream after 3 courses of dinner: “this doesn’t have any nuts right? I have a severe allergy, I forgot to mention it.”

#serverlife: I feel so bad for the elderly people with hearing loss who don’t notice me when I’m quality checking and just look up to find me staring expectantly like:

One of my tables tonight ended with them shaking my hand and saying “we’ll pray for you” and I just wanna know what I did to make them think I need Jesus so bad. They’re right, I do, but still #serverlife

Me omw to pay my tuition with 188 5$ bills knowing full well they think I’m a stripper like: #serverlife

I had a table come in right before close tonight, sit for an hour and 16 minutes before ordering, and then make me scramble to find vegan options off the menu because they didn’t like salad “I can’t believe your menu isn’t vegan it’s 2019” It’s 2020 and this is a steakhouse 🙄

#Dearcustomer: *starts hanging lgiant glittery banner that takes up a whole wall and says “holy shit you’re old”* Management:

An old man open-mouth coughed in my face at work while I was crouched down taking payment and I swear I saw stars oh my gosh. This is why service workers need sick leave, we are in contact with everyone and everything 😷😷#serverlife

Got my first table after 2 hours tonight because it was so slow and then the fire alarms went off and they left ☹️#serverlife

My restaurant is shutting down all of its locations tomorrow, and although I think it is the right decision I hope that my coworkers with families are able to get the support they need to get through this mess #COVIDalberta #beagoodneighbor

I was officially laid off today after my restaurant closed. I went to pick up my check and they surprised me with a lump sum for all the shifts I was scheduled for plus two weeks extra pay, and four huge bags of produce and steak. I’m so blown away and grateful 😊🥰 #spreadlove

Since my store is shut down indefinitely they gave us all the oasis mixes that would go bad so guess who’s having a very large homemade Bellini 😎😎

I never thought I’d be finishing my degree from my bedroom but here I am 🤷🏻‍♀️ Now that I’m done, I have no idea what to do with myself. What have you all been up to in isolation?

Anyone else have some fun restaurant nightmares since shutdown? I keep dreaming that all my customers are zombies and honestly it’s not that different 🤷🏻‍♀️ #serverlife

People keep complaining about the masks but honestly I’m really enjoying being able to make any face I want and not get in trouble for it 🤷🏻‍♀️ #serverlfe

I’m going to give away $10,000 to 3 random people who retweet this tweet AND follows me! (If you don’t follow me, can’t DM you the money) Much love 💗