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I was talking to the staff at a recording studio where lots of famous people go. "Who was the worst most demanding person you've had the misfortune to work with here? I asked. All 5 staff instantly replied in perfect synchronisation: "Cilla Black"

16. Mesh drains in Australia prevent water bodies pollution. Should be a worldwide standard.

[running my family’s homestead after the apocalypse] oh if only a 46-year-old podcaster who hasn’t eaten anything but Doordash since 2017 were here to share his opinions on crop rotation

Just…no

I feel like my alpha bites want me to go to CEX 🤔

How me feel after spending hours making cookies only to eat them in seconds. 🍪

Thank fuck I can’t remember a thing about this abomination as I was off my head on LSD for this entire decade ⚡️🦁

Who is the HOTTEST lady of Horror? I'll start: Neve Campbell

So, this afternoon I got home to find a lovely letter from NORTHERN 🚆 telling me about how they wanted to prosecute me for using the below ticket to travel on the specified route at a peak time. I paid £1.90 less than the fare they say I should have paid. A thread 🧵

I’m ready 🍿😡

Sometimes all you can hear is the goblin horn. Sometimes Level 1 feels like Level 3. Sometimes your life force seems stuck on red. But however hard the quest gets, please remember: you're less alone than you think. #WorldMentalHealthDay #ItsOKNotToBeOK

You deserve a calm love with someone who's your safe space, your best friend, and brings peace to your nervous system during stressful times. You deserve a patient love with someone who’s good for your mental health, heart, and soul.

What the actual fuck guys

I assumed they were giving them offensive titles

With BBC One unveiling their Christmas ident, I thought I'd upload my short montage of every BBC One Christmas ident since 1974. Enjoy 50 years worth of idents, and memories!🎄🎅☃️

"I'm looking for an copy of a book ..... How to Dig Your Own Grave' by Gregg Wallace. I'm thinking of giving it to a handful of women of a certain age ..."

Most of them in real life 🤣#Duolingo365

There’s somebody at the door