Not the ice cream truck driving by my house at 1:30 am when it’s 38 degrees outside 👀

Parents be like "boys are easier" and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Can I bill looking up opposing party’s zodiac sign as legal research?

Someone hears I’m from Devine and then proceeds to ask me if I know their friend from Lytle. Always Lytle.

Absolutely no one: Nasario: “any bitch that reminds you of a Sunday, you hate that bitch”

Matthew works out for 3 days: “I don’t look any different yet”

We got rid of abortion before we got rid of covid? Okay.

If I see one more lululemon haul on my tiktok I’m going to go bankrupt

Bring back the mf pumpkin chocolate chip cookie Crumbl

If Joe Biden sends me a check for my student loans, that money is going straight to Taylor Alison Swift

All the boomers can stop telling young people to set our clocks back one hour. I don’t have a clock, I have a fucking iPhone

Not A&M asking me for money when the football team got a losing record. No sir.

Cancel my sweetpass+ right now since y’all locked my account for two weeks sweetgreen

It’s here. It’s yours, it’s mine, it’s ours. It’s an album I wrote alone about the whims, fantasies, heartaches, dramas and tragedies I lived out as a young woman between 18 and 20. I remember making tracklist after tracklist, obsessing over the right way to tell the story. I had

a father has to care for his child, even when he has a job. fascinating.

KARMA IS THE GUY ON THE CHIEFS

im pro abortion, the less people i need to compete against for taylor swift tickets the better