The true homeland of the «shish kebab» is the Netherlands. (This is a complex truth. Only Russian-speaking people living in the Netherlands can comprehend it.)

Kabakov at the Tel Aviv Museum was the highlight of my recent «brief glimpse into Israel». Even the throbbing pain, which accompanied the whole experience, couldn't spoil it.

You're brought an absolutely ordinary coffee. In a random mall of a random Palestinian city. You take a sip and... dissolve into such a blissful smile that the waiter becomes frightened. (And all because at this very moment, completely randomly, the pain attack came to an end.)

It feels like ambulances and fire trucks in the #Netherlands are on that MVP stage, you know? They've got the loud sirens down, but they haven't quite grasped the «need for speed» concept yet.

«Don’t spit in the well from which you drink» — a smoker’s proverb. A healthy person’s proverb: «Don’t spit in the well (period)».

In 1337, the “Hundred Years’ War” began. I can just imagine some dude sitting there in 1338 thinking, “Well, as soon as the war is over, I’ll immediately…”

Read somewhere: “If you praise my mom’s cutlets once, you’ll be eating cutlets for life.” Apparently, TikTok also read it and took it to heart.

Well…

You should stop calling armed adults “boys.” This manipulation is a universal evil.

Gefeliciteerd met de overwinning!

Declaring «we want to make a difference» sounds as dumb as the speech of a cookie-cutter movie villain unveiling the intricacies of his «evil plan». Do, don't declare, darnit.

People are surprised: how did that quiet engineer, that chubby baker, that cheerful typist suddenly become fascists? No one could have seen it coming! I could. It's the bliss and curse of being observant.

How do you know you’ve lived in the Netherlands long enough? Bosch’s paintings stop seeming strange and fantastical.

Creatives thrive on ‘what ifs.’ Designers draw them from clients; artists conceive them alone.

A bottle of vodka led to unprotected sex. Years later, the unintended child became a Nobel laureate in literature. Can the bottle claim in its résumé that it “created a Nobel laureate”? (Paradoxically, now you know more about design schools and their promotion.)

Anyone who has ever realized that a meeting is pointless but stayed seated; who didn’t scream or storm out the second they understood it — has, effectively, experienced «internal exile».

Power of modern narratives. I read the headline, «Shark attacks diver. First-person video,» and clicking the link, I fully expect footage filmed by the shark.

The music didn’t play for long, the square didn’t dance for long.

Saint Dismas is the patron saint of thieves (you didn’t know; now you do). Saint Stephen is the patron saint of info-gurus and stand-up comedians. (An advanced joke for smart people.)

If watercolor had been a procedural technique, the world would never have seen masterpieces by Turner, Sargent, or Winslow Homer.