Misha Katz (@misha_kvakin) 's Twitter Profile
Misha Katz

@misha_kvakin

Casualty

ID: 17112352

calendar_today02-11-2008 09:01:02

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The true homeland of the «shish kebab» is the Netherlands. (This is a complex truth. Only Russian-speaking people living in the Netherlands can comprehend it.)

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Kabakov at the Tel Aviv Museum was the highlight of my recent «brief glimpse into Israel». Even the throbbing pain, which accompanied the whole experience, couldn't spoil it.

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You're brought an absolutely ordinary coffee. In a random mall of a random Palestinian city. You take a sip and... dissolve into such a blissful smile that the waiter becomes frightened. (And all because at this very moment, completely randomly, the pain attack came to an end.)

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It feels like ambulances and fire trucks in the #Netherlands are on that MVP stage, you know? They've got the loud sirens down, but they haven't quite grasped the «need for speed» concept yet.

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«Don’t spit in the well from which you drink» — a smoker’s proverb. A healthy person’s proverb: «Don’t spit in the well (period)».

Misha Katz (@misha_kvakin) 's Twitter Profile Photo

In 1337, the “Hundred Years’ War” began. I can just imagine some dude sitting there in 1338 thinking, “Well, as soon as the war is over, I’ll immediately…”

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Read somewhere: “If you praise my mom’s cutlets once, you’ll be eating cutlets for life.” Apparently, TikTok also read it and took it to heart.

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Declaring «we want to make a difference» sounds as dumb as the speech of a cookie-cutter movie villain unveiling the intricacies of his «evil plan». Do, don't declare, darnit.

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People are surprised: how did that quiet engineer, that chubby baker, that cheerful typist suddenly become fascists? No one could have seen it coming! I could. It's the bliss and curse of being observant.

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How do you know you’ve lived in the Netherlands long enough? Bosch’s paintings stop seeming strange and fantastical.

Misha Katz (@misha_kvakin) 's Twitter Profile Photo

A bottle of vodka led to unprotected sex. Years later, the unintended child became a Nobel laureate in literature. Can the bottle claim in its résumé that it “created a Nobel laureate”? (Paradoxically, now you know more about design schools and their promotion.)

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Anyone who has ever realized that a meeting is pointless but stayed seated; who didn’t scream or storm out the second they understood it — has, effectively, experienced «internal exile».

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Power of modern narratives. I read the headline, «Shark attacks diver. First-person video,» and clicking the link, I fully expect footage filmed by the shark.

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Saint Dismas is the patron saint of thieves (you didn’t know; now you do). Saint Stephen is the patron saint of info-gurus and stand-up comedians. (An advanced joke for smart people.)

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If watercolor had been a procedural technique, the world would never have seen masterpieces by Turner, Sargent, or Winslow Homer.