just told my dad the past tense of "tweet" is twat

Day 3 of drawing raccoons until I get my life together

you know it's one of those days when you cry a little bit reading about the benefits of wool on Ikea dot com

Half of me wants one, and half of me is the voice of my great grandmother saying "what the hell do you need that crap for? Just take a fucking shower"

🙏🥺 this is the only news I care about

"You always have the option of having no opinion." —Marcus Aurelius A very Twitter-fitting reminder.

Can someone explain why this error is displaying 1ms BEFORE epoch time????

This seems more likely to invoke divine retribution than solve poverty 🤔

MULTI-GENERATIONAL BLOG is a phrase that just showed up in this scifi short I'm reading, and I'm just,,,,,,,, the future, man. the future.

Is it possible to actually get dippin dots anymore, or does it only come in the form of perpetually closed booths at highway rest stops?

Imagine how stupid I felt when I accidentally wore the same shirt to work that I did when I took my badge picture 😭