Get ready for the hottest MILF movies!

To every fast food drive-thru worker: I don't need you to tell me what to order. I will tell YOU what I want to order!

Don't want to tell you how to live your life ladies, but If I had a vagina I would take very good care of it and wash it often.

There's no reason to have a plan B. It distracts from Plan A.

Thinking about making a homemade porn tape. Potential co-stars, send in audition reels ASAP!

California girls: best in the world.

I'm cheaper than crack, but twice as fun!

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It's been a long day. I need one of those hugs that turns into #sex.

Don't forget to cup the balls.

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Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant. ~ George Burns