i draw pot of creed to take you higher

instead of truey jeans i call em pooey jeans cause i constantly shit in them

if mike drinks beer gets to 5k by the time i wake up tomorrow ill do a face reveal

Get mike drinks beer to 5k challenge, I’ll let everyone hold 5 dollars if you do

*vaguely* i’m just like eren jaeger

Now I am become meth, destroyer of teeth

if i was a frog you know my balls would be touching that lily pad

i finished attack on titan almost a week ago and i am still punching the air about it fuck it all fuck the world

gf just showed me a tiktok about being gay and an alcoholic and told me it made her think of me 😑

i think they call it an india pale ale because they make my toilet look like its filled with water from the ganges river the next day

couples costume idea

i’m saving my private for ryan

throw me to the wolf man and i’ll come back pregnant

joan of arc

But if you really cared for her Then you wouldn't've never hit the airport To follow your dream, sometimes I still Talk Tuah But when I Talk Tuah it always seems like she talkin' about me

I will be drinking 1,345 beers tonight to celebrate this monumental achievement

let’s discuss the galaxy gas industrial complex