more than anything i miss yelling at men who deserve it 😪

me n my home girl

a girl just perceived me sitting in the kohl’s parking lot smoking a cigarette and blasting simon & garfunkel. i’m so happy hahaha

the quickest way to piss a man off is to tell them you don’t like the movie the prestige

i was so real for this

Me popping out of the truck window too high to know what’s going on

i beat out 8 other candidates and i start monday. sorry you aren’t me!!!!!

i hope you eat but it will not be at my table

he sent me a leon bridges song someone get a fucking stretcher

me before the function reminding myself not to do the john mulaney impression or the rex kwon do impression or the british socialite impression or the ace ventura impression or the voldemort impression or the kermit impre

2 years ago i got covid so i had to celebrate halloween by myself in my apartment. i put on my costumes and got so h*gh off 1/4 of an edible that i had to breathe manually

just remembered something i said during an icebreaker my freshman year of college and literally gagged

and i’ll say it again

why haven’t we heard from vince vaughn. what’s happening

Zack and Cody can finally eat at their table after 15 YEARS

my uber driver totally captivated me with hotel Transylvania 2 this is unfair

Tyler Roney but every time he adds a high school girl on Snapchat his hair gets taller

this is bye sister for white supremacists

Also turning on notifications for Azealia Banks just to cover my bases here